Get Started With these Top Ten Pickup Lines: We’ve compiled some phrases that are genuine and personal to help you actually connect with a new individual, eschewing the standard (and frequently tacky) pick-up lines. They can be used as icebreakers on a first date or when talking to a complete stranger.
For my book, Captivate, I looked into the best techniques to make an impact and start discussions. In my experience, both with online dating and in-person encounters, the biggest mistake people make when using pick-up lines or other methods of contacting others is failing to take into account what the other person would find acceptable.
Successful pick-up lines rely on knowing the environment in which they will be used. Pickup lines are often based on observations of the other person’s physical characteristics. This is the root cause of numerous offensive and ineffective pick-up lines that are commonplace.
When trying to think of a conversation starter, instead of focusing on the other person or stressing over how to be funnier (although that helps too!), take a look around you.
Find something of interest in your immediate surroundings and bring it up in conversation.
If you want to know why effective pick-up lines work, it’s all about context. They share enough in common to feel at ease. Being in the same physical location is a unifying factor. There’s no need to speculate or prod; just take a peek around.
Check out my book, Captivate, if you suffer from social anxiety and find it difficult to approach new people due of your awkwardness. In it, I detail the exact actions you can take to regain your composure in social circumstances that used to make you anxious.
Get Started With these Top Ten Pickup Lines
1. How often do you visit? The question “do you come here often?” is used far too often, yet the intention is always sincere. It’s a great icebreaker since it allows you to learn more about the other person and bond via a shared experience. It’s also a fantastic pick-up line because you can use it in a variety of social settings (bars, movie theaters, nightclubs, etc.).
2. What about a drink? This chat up line is effective since it is brief, direct, and unobtrusive. Yes, ladies, you can do this too! The norm has always been for men to offer to buy women a drink, so it may feel strange at first, but hey, it’s 2019. Pay attention to how he is carrying himself. You’ll either win him over with your assurance or realize he’s not worth your time.
3. Could I perhaps get you a book? If you observe someone browsing the book section of a store, this is a great alternative pick-up line (especially for the readers among us). You’ve probably got a great deal in common if you’re both in a bookstore. Furthermore, it’s really romantic, and if they agree, you might inquire as to their preferred reading material.
4. Please share your thoughts on the [event]. Whether you’re fresh from the theater or watching a band at the local pub, this chat up line will help you strike up a conversation about something in common.
5. Today’s weather is pleasant / terrible, and I pray that it continues in either of these extremes. Okay, take this one from the British playbook: bringing up the weather is a great way to strike up a conversation with someone in a relaxed and natural way. And it can be done anywhere!
6. Can I borrow a lighter? All right, this one really only relates to smokers (maybe the equivalent these days is vape juice?). but it’s always been a standard icebreaker among smokers.
7. Can you give me directions to [this location]? Since it usually entails approaching a person out of the blue, the results are not guaranteed. However, it does spark further discussion. You might inquire as to whether or not they are familiar with the location, as well as their impressions of it. You might even extend an invitation to join you if things are going well and you are getting positive signals from their body language.
8. I’d want to get your thoughts on something. This one’s versatile yet requires some attention lest it come out as strange or threatening. In a conversation at the bar, you might inquire about a restaurant that was recommended to you, while in the library, you might solicit feedback on the proposed title of your paper. It’s a terrific way to transition into free-flowing chat.
9. Isn’t this a lovely [structure/part of town/room]? Again, reflecting on something ordinary is a great approach to break the ice and get to know someone better.
10. What the heck is that? This is great for use in social settings such as pubs and restaurants. Commenting on someone’s order (whether it’s a unique cocktail or an exotic cuisine) is a great approach to strike up a conversation, as long as you don’t interrupt the person’s time with their companions.